Couches are Repositories for Butt Sweat and Farts (no. 82)

Couches are Repositories for Butt Sweat and Farts (no. 82)

Most life coaches and motivational speakers will act like everything is perfect. Sure, they’ll tell you about a past time when they hit a few roadblocks. As a matter of fact, it’s the main theme or story in most keynotes. But the bad stuff is always in the past, never the present or even the recent past.

Not me.

I’d rather tell you about how I screw up or when things go wrong. That way you can glean some lessons from it. Like a good parent, it’s my job to help you recover from or avoid the same mistakes I make.

You know, like the time last year I busted my head open climbing on an old abandoned train.

Let’s talk about couches. Most of them are pretty gross. When I visit people’s homes, I always angle for the hard furniture, like a dining room chair, and not the soft cushiony stuff. Basically, couches are repositories for years of butt sweat and farts. Those things get trapped in the fibers and soak into your clothes when you sit down.

Let me tell you about my couch. Here it is by the dumpster.

It’s gross.

It’s got all the adult smells plus 15 years with 5 kids. That means 15 years of kid farts, poop accidents, puke, and pee-throughs times five.

It was time for a new couch a long time ago, so what were we waiting for?

Here’s the success story part of the message. We just got completely out of debt, including the mortgage and cars, using the principles from Dave Ramsey. Then we budgeted $1500 for a new couch and saved up the money to pay cash for it. Even better, we found a great one at Costco for only $1000.

We wanted something like THIS, but it just didn’t fit the budget, and we’re okay with that.

Boom! We got a new couch with that new couch smell and no stains. Also, with only one kid still in diapers, the stains and smells will decrease greatly.

Here’s the lessons from this story:

  • Don’t sit on other people’s couches unless you know them well.
  • Get out of debt.
  • Any speaker or coach with a 100% perfect life is full of crap.
  • Don’t ever take a used couch from anyone.
  • Save up cash and go buy a new couch.
  • If you want to sit on my couch, visit soon while it’s new.

Dr. Redbeard

PS: Send me photos of your couches. You can see ours and some fun in the video HERE.

PSS: The absolute best thing about a new couch- huge boxes to make forts out of!


This message was written by a team of geeks, nerds, gamers, and Dr. David Powers. You can always find us at Thanks for reading!

In the words of Starship Troopers, “Would you like to know more?”





What’s the Best Way to Break a Promise?

I had to break a promise to my kids the other day. Have you ever had to do that? Or maybe break a promise to a client?

Is there a best way to do that?

Me and my wife gave a neat present to each of our kids for Christmas last year. It was a weekend trip of their choosing. You can see from the picture below what it was. Basically, we typed up some specs, gave them a map for reference, and wrapped each one’s sheet of paper in a box or bag.

They thought it was pretty cool. Like enterprising kids can be, they started plotting how to join their trips together for a longer trip somewhere further away. My two older boys were scouting out the middle of Florida where we could do a bunch of freediving in freshwater caves, play with alligators, and go mountain biking.

Then, all of a sudden, we had to take it all away. Our whole family just got on the Dave Ramsey plan to get out of debt and some big bills came due to get our house ready to sell. We could no longer afford the trip without stacking more debt on the credit cards, and we couldn’t justify doing that.

We sat the kids down and explained things to them. The older ones understood because they listen to Dave Ramsey a lot, but the younger ones just feel jipped for losing their Christmas gift. I feel crappy too. I feel like I just handed them a new toy, let them play with it for a minute, and then took it away so I could smash it with a hammer in front of them.

I guess what I’m saying is this. There’s no good way to break a promise. It’s like a pulling a tooth. If you don’t have to do it, don’t. If you have to do it, do it fast and get it over with. If you can find an alternative, do that.

So, what about you? What promises have you ever had to break and how did you do it?

Dr. Dave

PS…I just released a new book on using science fiction for education. I originally produced it under contract for a publisher, but it’s been cleared for me to release it on my own now. You can find it HERE if you’re interested.

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