Couches are Repositories for Butt Sweat and Farts (no. 82)

Most life coaches and motivational speakers will act like everything is perfect. Sure, they’ll tell you about a past time when they hit a few roadblocks. As a matter of fact, it’s the main theme or story in most keynotes. But the bad stuff is always in the past, never the present or even the recent past.

Not me.

I’d rather tell you about how I screw up or when things go wrong. That way you can glean some lessons from it. Like a good parent, it’s my job to help you recover from or avoid the same mistakes I make.

You know, like the time last year I busted my head open climbing on an old abandoned train.

Let’s talk about couches. Most of them are pretty gross. When I visit people’s homes, I always angle for the hard furniture, like a dining room chair, and not the soft cushiony stuff. Basically, couches are repositories for years of butt sweat and farts. Those things get trapped in the fibers and soak into your clothes when you sit down.

Let me tell you about my couch. Here it is by the dumpster.

It’s gross.

It’s got all the adult smells plus 15 years with 5 kids. That means 15 years of kid farts, poop accidents, puke, and pee-throughs times five.

It was time for a new couch a long time ago, so what were we waiting for?

Here’s the success story part of the message. We just got completely out of debt, including the mortgage and cars, using the principles from Dave Ramsey. Then we budgeted $1500 for a new couch and saved up the money to pay cash for it. Even better, we found a great one at Costco for only $1000.

We wanted something like THIS, but it just didn’t fit the budget, and we’re okay with that.

Boom! We got a new couch with that new couch smell and no stains. Also, with only one kid still in diapers, the stains and smells will decrease greatly.

Here’s the lessons from this story:

  • Don’t sit on other people’s couches unless you know them well.
  • Get out of debt.
  • Any speaker or coach with a 100% perfect life is full of crap.
  • Don’t ever take a used couch from anyone.
  • Save up cash and go buy a new couch.
  • If you want to sit on my couch, visit soon while it’s new.

Dr. Redbeard

PS: Send me photos of your couches. You can see ours and some fun in the video HERE.

PSS: The absolute best thing about a new couch- huge boxes to make forts out of!


This message was written by a team of geeks, nerds, gamers, and Dr. David Powers. You can always find us at Thanks for reading!

In the words of Starship Troopers, “Would you like to know more?”





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